


House Plant

by fuzzykitty01



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (2010), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Author has a lot of kinks, Because of Reasons, Bunny got them a houseplant from hell, Chief of the fall spirits, HiJack Wedding, Hiccup is a Seasonal Spirit, Hide yo kids, Hide yo wives, Hijack, Jack is the Prince of Winter, M/M, NSFW, Not for Childrens, OPA, Other, Smut, Tentacle Rape, They married, This ain't for kids, most of which are probably illegal, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:12:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzykitty01/pseuds/fuzzykitty01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack Frost, Prince of the Winter Spirits and Hiccup Haddock, Chief of the Fall Spirits have gotten married. As a wedding gift, E. Aster Bunnymund got them a houseplant. </p>
<p>What Bunny failed to mention was that the 'house plant' would turn into a sex-crazed tentacle monster if you get cum on it. This is gonna be a loooooong honeymoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Plant

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry. 8D
> 
> EDIT: 9/13
> 
> ASDFGHJKL; SOMEONE MADE ME A FANART 8DDD
> 
> (art by [aliseaaaaa](http://aliseaaaaa.tumblr.com))
> 
> THANK YOU, MAMA BIRD~

((Whoops my hand slipped. 8D))

“It’s a houseplant.” Jack stated with his nose scrunched up in confusion. Hiccup did a better job of hiding his confusion with a smile towards the Easter Bunny. They had just gotten married—or the closest spiritual equivalent—and just like with human weddings, it was customary to get the newlyweds gifts. They had received many presents ranging from extravagant, to practical, to a little bit of both. Bunny got them a houseplant.

“Not just _any_ houseplant.” Bunny sniffed. “I made it special.”

Jack and Hiccup nodded with understanding smiles. They thanked Bunny for his thoughtful gift and continued on with the reception. By the end of the night, Jack and Hiccup had enough presents to fill up their modest lair—which Hiccup built just for them. They thanked the guests for coming and retreated to their lair to consummate their wedding.

 

Jack threw Hiccup down on the bed before climbing in after him with a wicked grin on his impish face. Hiccup yelped at the sudden move, but was all too happy to receive his new husband. He wrapped his freckled legs around Jack’s waist (The Man in the Moon restored his lost limb when he made Hiccup a spirit) and pulled the winter spirit towards him. Jack was all too happy to oblige. He ran his hands over Hiccup’s chest and tweaked mercilessly at his nipples. Hiccup gasped and squirmed with each sensation. Jack’s grin widened as he found out Hiccup was especially sensitive to having his nipples flicked. It drove the Chief of the Fall Spirits wild with lust every time. Jack grinded his hips against Hiccup’s before descending down unto his sensitive chest. He took one of his dusky nipples in his mouth and teased him that way. Hiccup wailed and gripped Jack’s hair tightly in his hands. Jack flicked his tongue over the erect nub before sucking it so hard that it bruised. He teased the other between his fingers and pinched it every so often. Hiccup mewled and shuddered beneath Jack’s ministrations and his cock stirred to life between his legs. Jack could feel Hiccup’s length harden against his hips and he grinned around Hiccup’s nipple as he thrust down unto his cock. Hiccup was beyond speech now. He babbled nonsense that sounded an awful lot like encouragement, so Jack continued his sweet torture. He reveled in Hiccup’s breathy moans and high-pitched whines. Jack suddenly switched his mouth’s attentions to Hiccup’s other nipple. He blew softly onto Hiccup’s wet, abused nub and watched him shiver in delight. Jack engulfed the other nipple between his lips. Hiccup whimpered from the over-stimulation as Jack continued to tease his sensitive nubs. Jack swirled his tongue in lazy circles before flicking the tip over the pebbled flesh. He gently took the erect tip between his teeth and pulled ever-so-slightly on the deliciously receptive flesh. Hiccup screamed and bucked against Jack’s thrusting hips.

Feeling that Hiccup’s nipples were sufficiently marked, Jack gave them one last lick before focusing on the hot and heavy flesh between Hiccup’s legs. Hiccup’s cock was red and pulsing with need. The tantalizing vein that ran along the shaft was too tempting for Jack to resist trailing a chilly finger along it. Hiccup whined and shimmied his hips to get more stimulation, but Jack pulled away at the last second.

“Ah-ah~” Jack admonished with a teasing smirk. “Be patient, love. I’ll make it feel really good in a second.”

Hiccup had no doubts about that. Still, he pouted up at his new husband. Jack chuckled and captured his pouting lips with his own. Hiccup moaned and opened up for him. Their tongues played languidly with each other even as Jack teased Hiccup’s member down below. Hiccup moaned heatedly into the kiss and clenched Jack’s hair tighter in his hands. Jack hissed from the sweet pain in his scalp before breaking the kiss with a wet smack. A thin string of saliva kept their mouths connected before it broke under the strain of gravity. Jack and Hiccup took some time to marvel at each other.

Hiccup was beautifully red with the flush of arousal. His freckles stood out cutely on his blushing cheeks. The red glow traveled from his face all the way down to his clavicle before tapering out into a light pink hue. His bottle-green eyes were dark with lust-blown pupils and they were trained solely on Jack. Hiccup’s lips were kiss-swollen and slightly parted to allow for heaving breaths to supply oxygen to his brain. His nipples were dark with bruises and straining high into the chill of the night-time air. His cock was fully erect and a bead of pre gathered at the tip. Jack Idly smeared the white dollop around the head and marveled at how shiny it made it look. Hiccup shuddered beautifully at the touch.

Jack, for his part, was straining to keep himself together. He was obviously, hopelessly aroused, but he kept himself in check so he wouldn’t hurt his lover. His bright, blue eyes were glazed over with hunger and his hands shook with the effort to not grip Hiccup tight and pound into him until he was a bruised, babbling mess of pleasure on the bed. While that might be an idea for another time, Jack wanted their wedding night to be special. Jack’s pale lips fought to bring air into his lungs before Hiccup stole his breath away. Jack didn’t blush, but frost curled delicately on his cheeks and down his neck. It sparkled like fresh snow in the morning light and only Hiccup could bring this side out of him. Jack’s dick was straining hot and heavy between his legs and his thighs quivered with the effort it took not to thrust hard and deep into Hiccup’s ass. Hiccup appreciated the gesture and showed it with a gentle kiss.

Hiccup prepared himself as he suckled on Jack’s lower lip. He stretched himself wide as he could to accommodate Jack’s girth. Hiccup whined into the kiss when he found his prostate and he surged up at the surprising amount of pleasure it brought him. Once Hiccup discovered this sensitive bundle of nerves, he couldn’t keep his hands off it. He teased and pinched the walnut-sized nub and let the wave of pleasure take him away. Hiccup fell back onto the bed and let Jack watch as he teased open his virgin passage. Jack got little peeks inside Hiccup’s hole and they shot right to his dick. Hiccup’s inner flesh was pretty and pink and seemed to grip his fingers as they slid in and out. Hiccup’s relentless teasing of his prostate caused thin streams of pre to dribble down his shaft and onto his balls. Hiccup was so lost in his ministrations, he didn’t notice Jack lubing up as he watched Hiccup’s debauched show.

Jack suddenly wrenched Hiccup’s hands away from his ass and ignored the needy whine it got him. Jack leaned down to silence Hiccup with a kiss as he thrust hard and deep inside. Hiccup’s scream was muffled by Jack’s mouth as Jack kept completely still to let Hiccup get used to his girth. Jack knew it was time to move when Hiccup wiggled his hips and let out a muffled moan. Jack broke the kiss and pulled out to the tip before thrusting back in. He wanted to hear Hiccup as he lost himself in their coupling. Hiccup made such pretty noises as Jack thrust in and out of him. Jack made sure to pay special attention to Hiccup’s prostate once he found it. It wasn’t long before Hiccup turned into a babbling mess once Jack started to batter the sensitive nerves with his dick. Hiccup wailed and clutched Jack close as the tight coiling in his gut grew too much to bear.

“Ja—ah~!—ck~ I-I think I’m—” Hiccup couldn’t finish his warning as the coil broke and his orgasm came hard and fast. Hiccup splattered a heavy load of cum onto Jack’s stomach and chest even as he kept on thrusting in and out of his abused ass. He didn’t notice, but some of it also got on the houseplant Bunny got them. Neither of the newly weds noticed the plant absorbing the dollop of seed and steadily growing into something else. Jack lost himself deep inside Hiccup’s body and shot his load deep in his bowels.

They didn’t have time to rest in their post-coital bliss before a thorny vine latched onto their ankles and pulled them off the bed. Jack yelled his surprise and reached for his staff before another vine knocked it out of his reach. He gritted his teeth and tried to claw his way out of the vine. It didn’t work; as soon as Jack got his ankle free, more vines shot out to wrap around his flailing limbs. Jack yelped as he was forcefully lifted off the ground and splayed wide open like a virgin sacrifice. He wriggled around trying to find purchase to flee, but the thorny tendril came back and pierced his flesh. Jack gritted his teeth from the sharp prick and only started to panic when his limbs started to feel hot and heavy. Struggling became a chore and even lifting his head on his own became a trial. Jack whimpered in fear of the helpless feeling. The plant seemed to understand such base emotions, because a separate vine caressed his face in an almost soothing motion. It prodded Jack’s mouth with its tip and Jack absently opened his mouth to let it in. His mind was fuzzy from whatever the thorn did to him, but even through the fog, Jack could feel and taste the thing in his mouth better than he could before. The tip of the vine felt like the head of a penis and Jack groaned at the mortified-arousal that spread through his body at the thought. It tasted like one too, if Jack thought about it. He could almost fool himself into believing he was sucking Hiccup off if it wasn’t for the way it squirmed in Jack’s mouth like a snake. 

Hiccup yelped and struggled against his captor, but he was too tired from his orgasm to put up much of a fight. He called for Jack to keep fighting, but Jack was too out of it to even hear his plea. In the end, the vine-like tendrils forced Hiccup’s hands behind his back and yanked his ankles apart so his still-dripping ass was on display. Hiccup flushed with mortification, but still tried to struggle. His efforts were all for naught as another—thicker—vine with pink flowers running along it slithered up to his face and forced him to breathe in its pollen. Soon enough, Hiccup’s struggles for freedom turned into straining for more friction. Hiccup’s forceful yells to let him go turned into needy whimpers and shameful moans for more. Hiccup’s cock, despite having cum not too long before, was now painfully erect between his quivering legs. Hiccup flushed; ashamed that this depraved plant felt so good against his overheated skin. He looked over to Jack to plead forgiveness, but his wintry lover was just as aroused and ashamed as he was.

They both looked at each other with guilty understanding in their eyes and they resolved to ride this out as long as it took. The plant had to let up sometime, right? They didn’t have a chance to think too hard about it before the plant took away all coherent thought with its depraved pleasur

Jack still had the cock-like tendril in his mouth, but now other ones had come to play. Two more thorny vines wrapped around Jack’s scrotum and the base of his cock to keep him from coming too soon. Jack wailed his pained pleasure into the cock stuffing his mouth. These thorns were different from the ones that robbed Jack of his muscle control; instead of numbing his body with fuzzy heat, the thorns digging into his dick shot flames of arousal up and down his shaft. Jack swore he would have come just then if it weren’t for the tight grip the tendrils had on his balls.

The cock-vine in Jack’s mouth started to leak pre onto his tongue—or the plant equivalent at least. Jack swore his mouth got more sensitive wherever the heady liquid touched. Jack started to suckle the plant; hoping to get more of the arousing juice dribbling from the slit. He was rewarded with a generous dollop of cream and a sharp thrust to the back of his throat. Jack whimpered as the plant-dick forced its way down his gullet and bypassed his gag reflex. Jack’s mouth and throat tingled pleasantly as the plant’s secretions touched the sensitive flesh.

As Jack was getting facefucked, another set of thorny vines found their way to Jack’s chest. They felt out Jack’s heaving chest until they found his perky pink nipples. The thorns pierced Jack’s sensitive nubs and broke off. Jack’s eyes flew open and he flailed from the constant stream of hot pleasure being injected into him by his makeshift nipple rings. The plant steadied Jack and kept him from thrashing too hard with more vines.

Hiccup watched all of this happen even as he was getting his own form of pleasurable torture. The plant with pink flowers kept Hiccup straining with need, but denied him release by wrapping thorny vines around his balls and cock. A particularly curious tendril slithered up his spread legs and found Jack’s cum that still dripped steadily out of his ass. The tendril seemed to become excited by the heady scent of virile seed and gorged on it happily. The white seed seeped into the vine like lotion. Hiccup felt the tentacle-cock pulse once, twice, and grow thicker each time. The engorged cock followed the trail of cum right into Hiccup’s winking asshole and nestled greedily inside. Hiccup whined from the painful stretching it caused. Hiccup was a virgin before tonight, so he nearly fainted from how full he felt. The plant seemed to realize this when it felt how close Hiccup was to splitting apart. The cock-tendril receded a bit until the tip just barely kissed the inside of Hiccup’s stretched-out entrance. It gently rubbed along Hiccup’s crack; almost like an apology, until it found his tied-up balls.

Hiccup didn’t know what the plant intended to do until it was too late. The penis-head opened up obscenely until it resembled a pussy more than a cock. Hiccup screamed in both fear and anticipation as it engulfed his straining sack with a lewd squelch. The inside of the monster’s tentacle felt better than it had any right to. It was warm and slick like a woman’s cunt, but it also had little nubs along the sides for that extra bit of pleasure. Another difference was that while a pussy was mostly stationary, the tentacle could suck, clench, and swirl around him like a mouth. Hiccup wailed in pleasure until another cock buried itself in his mouth. Hiccup figured he’d show his appreciation in a more productive way, and started suckling the thing in his mouth. The plant-prick rewarded him with a dollop of its pre.

The scent of sex and pollen permeated the air of the bedroom. The plant had become darker green to show how aroused it was. Jack writhed helplessly against it in a drug-induced haze. Hiccup was equally helpless, but his arousal was more honest as his mouth pleasured the plant without any coercion. The plant allowed Hiccup’s hands free and let him pleasure more cocks in his fast-learning grip. Hiccup may have been a virgin, but he was a natural cockslut. His inexperience was made up for by his willingness to explore and take as much as he could inside. Hiccup managed to swallow two more plant-pricks down his maw before he began to choke. His calloused hands, suited for the forge he worked in, rubbed sensual circles up and down the shafts not occupying his mouth. The pussy-like tentacle had taken the place of the thorny vines keeping Hiccup from coming. It swallowed Hiccup’s entire length whole; down to the heavy nuts below. Hiccup fed the greedy tentacle many times. Every drop of his hot seed was swallowed greedily by the plant and served to double its efforts until Hiccup was nearly mad with lust.

Jack was forced to watch all of this without touching himself. His own bloated cock was kept from release by the thorns digging into the shaft. His pierced nipples still pumped aphrodisiacs directly into his veins. He didn’t know how much more he could take until he burst; his cock and balls were purple with how much cum they were forced to hold. He still pleasured the dick in his mouth in the desperate hope that he’d be allowed to cum if he did a good job. The plant took pity on the needy spirit. It retracted its head from Jack’s mouth; spraying his face a few spurts of cum on the way. The lewd mess only served to make Jack hornier as he mewled and squirmed around. The cock rubbed Jack’s face in a parody of a lover’s caress; spreading the white mess around even more. The plant slithered down to Jack’s spread ass and probed it gently before thrusting in. Jack yelled out in both pain and pleasure as the plant prick stuffed him full. The plant found Jack’s prostate and kept constant pressure on the nub of nerves. Jack thrashed around in the plant’s grip. He was nearly mad with arousal. Slowly, the plant pumped in and out and set a steady pace of push and pull. Another tentacle made itself known as it slithered down to Jack’s straining prick and unfurled its head into a pussy. Jack sobbed in relief when the pussy-like tendril took his cock down to the hilt and coaxed his seed into its waiting mouth. Jack screamed as he pumped load after load of thick, hot seed into the depraved tentacle. It guzzled it all down and rewarded Jack with another tentacle in his mouth.

Jack’s muffled whimpers turned into greedy swallows as this cock unloaded its corrupt seed directly into Jack’s throat. When the plant’s orgasm tapered out, it retreated from Jack’s mouth with another gentle rub. The plant’s cum must’ve had something extra in it, because minutes after Jack ingested it, his body grew hotter and more sensitive. Jack felt like even the cool night air could stimulate him to orgasm. Goosebumps rose on Jack’s sensitive flesh and he whined at his heightened sense of arousal. The pussy-tentacle milking Jack’s cock suddenly felt like heaven as his nerves sang with lust. Jack’s hands were unbound and the plant coaxed Jack to caress his lover by bringing them close enough to touch. Hiccup eyed Jack through the mass of tentacles sliding in and out of his mouth. Jack seemed completely out of it—drugged up by the plant to be its willing slave. Hiccup wondered idly why the plant didn’t do the same to him; despite the pleasure coursing through his veins, Hiccup still had his wits about him to a degree.

The plant unwittingly answered his question when Hiccup spied the cum-spattered pot the plant came in. Hiccup was the first to feed it! He realized with a gasp. Hiccup had accidentally become the plant’s ‘father’ when he gave it a bit of his essence! Not to mention Hiccup was slowly warming up to the idea of feeding it all on his own. The plant probably didn’t feel the need to drug a willing participant.

Jack reached out to Hiccup; frantic for contact. Hiccup obliged him happily. He released one of the dicks he was giving a handjob to, and gripped Jack tightly to him in a desperate hug. Jack whimpered into Hiccup’s hair as he buried his face in the soft, familiar tresses. Hiccup pet Jack as best he could with one hand. He would have soothed Jack with words, but the cocks in his mouth made it impossible. Jack grappled at Hiccup for purchase; feeling him up as he went. Hiccup whined around the plant dicks in his mouth and opened himself up as best he could. Jack ran his hands over every inch of Hiccup’s body; assuring himself that Hiccup was real. Hiccup let him with an understanding gleam in his dark eyes. Jack pulled himself close and latched onto Hiccup like a limpet. Jack undulated his hips in a frantic bid for release, but the plant kept him from peaking. Jack was sobbing; he begged the plant to let him cum.

“P-please! Ah~ Lemme cum! Oh pleaseohpleaseplease let me cum! I can’t take it, ahn~” He beseeched the plant with a pretty moan.

Hiccup could see Jack’s sanity starting to fray. If this kept on much longer, Jack would break. For the first time since this whole thing started, Hiccup struggled to get free. He had to help Jack. He tugged at the cocks stuffing his mouth; trying to dislodge them. He had to tell the plant to stop. It seemed to take Hiccup’s wants into account; maybe it would let Jack go? The plant hesitated; as if confused why it’s father/lover/captive was trying to leave. It gave a curious thrust deeper inside Hiccup’s mouth. When Hiccup only struggled harder, the plant retreated entirely. Gasping for breath, Hiccup trained his gaze on the cum-spattered pot, in lieu of a face.

“Please let him go.” Hiccup rasped. “Please; can’t you see you’re hurting him?”

The plant hesitated again; as if considering the winter spirit in its grasp. Hiccup took that as a good sign. “Please…” He whispered. “…let him cum.”

That was all the plant needed to hear before Jack was screaming his release. The pussy-plant around his dick gulped down every drop of cum that Jack gave it. The thorns in Jack’s nipples were removed with a grateful whine. The plant retreated from Jack’s ass as well; giving him a gentle pat for good measure. The plant lowered Jack onto the ground and let Hiccup go to him. Hiccup practically collapsed at Jack’s side.

“Jack! Oh gods, please be okay…” He begged at she slapped the sides of Jack’s face lightly.

Jack roused just enough to slur out a simple, “That was _awesome_ ,” before passing out again with a silly grin on his face. Hiccup barked out an incredulous laugh before deciding that the idiot would be okay. He moved Jack to their bed (Oh gods, they were married now. The thought really hadn’t hit Hiccup yet.) and tucked him in.

Hiccup glanced back at the mutated house-plant that he’d unwittingly fathered and was surprised to see it slithering back towards the pot. The plant seemed to shuffle it’s vines apologetically before sliding one last vine towards the newlyweds. Hiccup stiffened and prepared to stave off another round of mind-blowing tentacle sex, but all the plant did was deposit a seed in Hiccup’s hand before retreating all the way back inside the pot. It shrunk back down to a manageable size and it was almost like the nights events never happened.

Hiccup leered down at the seed suspiciously; he had no idea what it would do to Jack in his present condition and he had no desire to make it worse, thank you. But the plant really _did_ look sorry (and wasn’t _that_ a crazy notion?) and Hiccup didn’t think he’d be able to help Jack with his limited medical knowledge. Deciding to trust the plant for now, Hiccup fed Jack the seed and hoped for the best.

The results were instantaneous. Jack surged to life with a deep gasp for air and a renewed sense of vigor. The minor cuts and bruises disappeared from Jack’s milky skin and judging by the weird look on Jack’s face, his asshole was slowly knitting itself back together as well. When Jack got his barings back, he fixed Hiccup with a serious gaze and said,

“Babe, I don’t know _what_ that is or why Bunny gave it to us, but we’re keeping it.”

The no-nonsense way Jack delivered his demand caused Hiccup to laugh at his new husband. Hiccup leaned in and gave Jack a sweet kiss before saying,

“You’re a crazy son of a bitch, you know that?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know, my mother was _not_ a dog, thank you.” Jack sniffed before dissolving into peels of laughter. Hiccup snorted.

“No, she must’ve been a saint to put up with such an unruly imp like you.” Hiccup teased in good nature. Jack grinned.

“Damn right she was.” He boasted.

When the laughter died down, the new husbands decided to go to sleep. They needed rest after the night they just had. Jack leered at the plant sitting innocently in its pot and said,

“No funny business, mister! Just ‘cuz we’re keeping you doesn’t mean we want to wake up with a plant-dick in our asses!”

And with that, they fell asleep. The plant got the memo about no sex while the humans were sleeping, but the next morning was another matter entirely.

—End

((There are probably so many spelling and grammar errors in this fic, but I can’t seem to edit without getting distracted. XD; GEE I WONDER WHY. Oh well. Have some HiJack smuts. Bunny, you are a dirty old man IS2G. I mean, you have to be a huge perv to get someone a sex-crazed tentacle monster for a wedding gift. I guess he just wants his bbys to fuck like rabbits because he can’t? IDK.))


End file.
